I feel like giving up…sometimes…not on life, but on other things…
- Like trying to lose weight
- Like treating my diabetes
- Like working
Today is one of those days. It seems like no matter what I do today—no matter what I eat or don’t eat—my blood sugar is out of whack!
- 7:33 a.m. was 188 (fasting)
- 12:37 p.m. was 173 (before lunch)
- 6:31 p.m. was 212 (before supper)
Why not give up?
In spite of really wanting to give up, I know that I can’t. I have people that rely on me to not only keep working and bringing in an income, but people who need me to be healthy.
It isn’t just that, either. I kind of enjoy life and would like to be able to enjoy it more by being healthier. I love the illustration of the frog in the bird’s mouth, choking that bird. That little frog was not giving up and neither am I!
That list above, those are just a few of the things I would like to give up on… On days like today, it is hard to not give up—just throw in that proverbial “towel” and call it “good enough.”
I’m a survivor
But I have never been one to take the easy way out. I am a survivor! I know that I can’t give up on any of them.
- I can’t give up on trying to lose weight because if I lose enough (what’s enough, right?) I can maybe cut back on my medications for type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol and high blood pressure.
- I can’t give up on treating my diabetes because then I am facing more serious health concerns like heart attack, stroke, amputations, blindness, hearing loss and a bunch of other really unpleasant things.
- I can’t give up on working, because as much as I complain about it, I actually do like working, or rather, I like writing and meeting new people. Some of my best friendships have been formed because of working and meeting new people.
One thing I can give up on is complaining about the hand I’ve been dealt!
- So I can’t have a big bowl of ice cream every day! I am fortunate that I don’t have to worry about food.
- So my feet hurt me! I still have my feet. Many with diabetes don’t have their feet anymore.
The list could go on and on.
As bad as things may seem, someone else always has it worse and even if they didn’t, I need to be grateful for what I do and don’t have!
Another new medication
I very recently began a new medication—Ozempic—to help with my high blood sugar readings. It is a once per week injectible. You can click on the link to learn more about it. So far it hasn’t been helping, in fact, my numbers have been higher in the last week than they had been for the past two months. It’s frustrating because the previous medication was a daily injectible, but at least it seemed to be working. It was also a non-insulin injection called Victoza…(you may click on the word Victoza to learn more about it).
I hated the daily shot, but the once a week one, well so far I’m not convinced that it is the solution. However, my insurance will no longer pay for the Victoza.
I am also on a daily dose of insulin. I take Basaglar which is referred to as a “beginsulin” because it is one that you “begin” with! I take it every night and take between 30-35 units currently.
These three are all taken in pen form. I attach a needle to them to give myself the shot. I have a huge phobia related to needles, but since the oral medication Metformin alone is no longer working, now I have to take shots, too.
I always said I was never going to take shots for diabetes, but here I am taking two of them currently. But I am still not giving up although I have been told that it is very hard to get off of these medications.
I asked my healthcare professional why my body would bother to make insulin if I was taking it. She didn’t have an answer. I think that one caught her off guard.
I “shouldn’t” feel this way
Maybe I shouldn’t feel this way, but now that I am taking the injections, I am feeling like I am in the first stage of “giving up.” I guess I feel that if I am taking shots then my condition is to the point that it’s irreversible and completely out of my control.
I know I mustn’t feel this way. I know that the medication I take doesn’t mean I will have to take it forever, but it feels that way to me.
I feel like I have “given up” on myself by allowing this disease to wreak this kind of damage to my body.
I also have been told that proper nutrition and exercise can help.
Now I just need something to motivate me more to exercise…take a walk…lift a few weights…work my way up to doing P90X again!
But, one thing at a time, I’m working on my diet which has been poor to say the least.
Until next time, be good to yourself and others!
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About the author
Karin Nauber, is a professional journalist who has worked in the newspaper business for the past 27 years. She is also a grandmother who, along with her spouse, is raising one of their granddaughters. Karin has five grandchildren with whom she enjoys spending as much time as possible. Karin also was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes about 11 years ago and has faced many challenges with the disease. If you would like to contact her, please do so at: email@example.com.